A Fair Way to Handle Adult Kids Living at Home
If you’ve got adult children still at home, you’re not alone. Cost of living, rent, and the general chaos of early adulthood have made the “launch” timeline… flexible.
And then comes the awkward bit: should they contribute financially, and if so, how much is fair?
A recent ABC piece explored exactly this, with input from a range of experts including Lorica Partners own adviser Kate McCallum, and the big takeaway was refreshingly practical: charging something (done well) can help everyone.
Below is a framework you can use to make it fair, calm, and useful.
Step 1 - Decide what you’re trying to achieve
Before you pick a dollar figure, be clear on the purpose. Typically, it’s one (or a blend) of these:
Teach independence - budgeting, trade-offs, “money doesn’t teleport into the pantry”.
Share household costs fairly - you’re not running a free boutique hotel.
Help them build savings
Reduce resentment - often the real issue: “they’re travelling and I’m paying the mortgage”.
Once you know the goal, the “fair” number becomes much easier to land.
Step 2: Pick a model that matches their life stage
There isn’t one right answer. A few workable approaches could be:
Option A - The “household cost build” (best for full-time workers)
This is the most defensible method because it’s based on real costs. The idea is:
list the household costs you’ll share (utilities, groceries, internet/subscriptions.
optionally include mortgage/rent if that feels appropriate.
divide by the number of adults in the household.
This option is transparent, feels fair, and builds financial literacy because they can see the household operates.
Option B - A percentage of income (great for students/casual work)
For part-time workers or students, a fixed number can be punishing in quiet weeks. Models like 10% to 20% of monthly income for students can work because it scales up and down automatically.
Option C - Market-based rent (useful if you want a reality check)
Anchor the contribution to local rent for a room near uni/work, and charge a portion of that so it remains “reasonable, not unachievable.” This option answers the classic complaint “but it’s expensive!” with a calm: “Yes. That’s the point.”
If you don’t want to charge money, that is fine, but set ground rules anyway around expectations for chores, meals and contributions so everyone knows what “living at home” means.
Step 3: Make it a learning plan, not a punishment
Simply charging board doesn’t automatically improve financial literacy. What helps is walking them through the household budget and the maths. So don’t just send them a number. Do a 20-minute mini-session:
show the household cost categories
explain what’s shared vs personal
agree what “adult contribution” looks like
talk about their goals (saving, travel, buying a car, moving out)
That conversation is where the value is.
Step 4: Put the agreement in writing
This sounds formal until you try to remember what you agreed six months later. And have you child sign the agreement, noting that behavioural research suggests signing increases follow-through.
Keep it simple and ideally on one page including:
weekly/monthly contribution amount or formula
what it covers
chore expectations
review date (e.g., every 6 months)
what happens when circumstances change, e.g. new job
Step 5: (Optional) Consider a “secret savings” plan
If your goal includes helping them get ahead, one strategy some parents use is:
child pays board as agreed
parent quietly sets aside some (or all) of it
later, it becomes a “moving out” buffer, first bond, or emergency fund
It preserves the learning and supports their launch. Just don’t promise it upfront if you want the payment to feel real.
A simple script you can use to introduce this conversation
“Now that you’re earning, we’re going to treat living at home like shared living. Let’s agree what’s fair, write it down, and review it in six months.”
Calm. Adult. Hard to argue with.
Good luck!
Author: Rick Walker. This article is sourced from an ABC News article that Kate McCallum was interviewed for: https://www.abc.net.au/news/2026-01-18/what-is-fair-when-charging-young-adult-children-board-or-rent/105913086